Toilets = Marriage

I was driving up 280 and I saw an anti gay-marriage bumper sticker that adopted the universal “restroom” symbols for man and woman. I couldn’t help but read it as “Toilets = Marriage.” I can’t find that exact design, but this one also embraces the universal toilet symbology:

From this image we can also extract other pieces of sage wisdom. For example, when a man gets married, he stays the same height, but loosens up a little in the crotch. When a woman gets married she naturally shrinks a bit. If a man and woman start out with big heads, they’re going to have to tame that a little bit if they want to get along. Especially the woman, to make room for the veil.

This model is being sold on CafePress under the “RightWingStuff” brand. I can’t argue with their marketing. The most amusing product on this page is this one:

0056F959-AE94-48E2-840E-AC36B0763848.jpg

Any straight person who shows up to church in that model is going to be instantly pegged as a fag or a lesbo. Or a redneck, I guess. We’re all the same underneath our sleeveless T-Shirts.

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